It’s that time of year again… Back-to-School Time!!! We know parents all over Dayton have tons of questions and are looking for all the best tips around this time. In our community, we have readers with all ages of kids from in the belly to full grown with kids of their own. In this post, we are offering some help to parents of college students and directly to those students as they embark on life without mom for the first time. Here’s Back to School :: College Edition!
BACK-TO-SCHOOL TIPS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS
- Make a to-do list for classes; it helps you stay on task.
- Set up a distraction-free study space. This could be your dorm room, the library, a coffee shop, or wherever else works for you.
- Find ways to stay engaged for your mental health. Have friends/family/trusted advisors you can check in with.
- Make a sick basket for when you inevitably come down with that first cold away from home (meds, tissues, cough drops, thermometer, chicken soup, etc.), and keep it handy for when mom isn’t around.
Thank you, DMC Mom, Pamela Chandler, for sharing those tips with us!
We’ve been listening and have rounded up the top questions from parents around the Miami Valley as they think about sending their kids off to college this year. We turned to one of our expert mamas that had ALL the answers for us, Olivia Jarrell.
WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST FEARS FOR PARENTS THE FIRST TIME THEIR KID HEADS OFF TO COLLEGE?
1. How are we going to pay for this?!? This is especially true for families that make JUST enough money that they don’t qualify for free aid like Pell Grants but too little money to pay for anything out of pocket. They end up having to get loans, and those are scary.
2. Will my child be safe?? The media likes to play up bad things that happen on campus, while most college campuses are relatively safe.
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR THOSE GOING THROUGH THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME?
1. Apply for every little scholarship, every grant, every dollar you can get for your child. Those deadlines are often in October – March of their senior year, so be vigilant and do this early. A few $500 scholarships can add up and pay for more than you think it will.
2. Do your own research, and don’t trust everything you hear online and in the media. Ask about the security policies at your child’s dorm. Ask about response time for campus and local police. And, most importantly, prepare your child! Making sure they know how to get home safely (even if intoxicated or under the influence), how to ask for help if they need it, where to find services on campus, and whom to trust are way more important than the statistics you read on campus. Often, crimes on college campuses happen when a student is too trusting or walks home alone or doesn’t have safety plans.
DOES IT GET ANY EASIER AFTER THE FIRST YEAR TO SEND A KID OFF TO SCHOOL?
It seems to get easier. After your child has successfully navigated a semester or two, you begin to relax and trust that they can handle the responsibility. Survivor bias is a good thing in this instance, as the longer you go without safety issues, the more comfortable you get sending your kiddo away to school.
ON THE OTHER SIDE, ARE THERE ANY FEARS THAT STUDENTS NORMALLY HAVE?
Students are nervous about making new friends; again, how they are going to pay for everything; sharing space with a stranger in a dorm room; and learning a new town. They might have imposter syndrome and feel like they aren’t good enough, smart enough, or strong enough to make it through the academic challenges, the social hurdles, etc.
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR THOSE FEARS TO GO AWAY?
For me, it took a whole year to really feel like I found where I belonged and didn’t want to quit and go home. For some, especially those who join Greek life, it seems to happen a little more quickly. Finding or forming study groups, attending organized events for first year students, and generally putting yourself in new social situations (safely) are good ways to build a community and feel like you belong.
FOR THOSE WHO ARE LOOKING AT COLLEGES THIS YEAR … HOW CAN YOU ADRESS SOME OF THOSE FEARS EARLY ON?
Attend orientations and meet-and-greet events. Go to the freshmen week if your school offers one. Talk to the financial aid office and see if there are additional scholarships, loans, etc. available. I once had a student who called the University of Pennsylvania and negotiated additional free aid because he knew his family just could not afford what they offered him. He was a good student and leveraged that to get a better offer. This will not always work, but I would recommend the student do the talking and not the parent.
Let the student do as much for themselves as possible! Mom and dad no longer have legal rights to your child’s academic records, school accounts, or any part of their financial aid (unless you are a cosigner), and this kiddo needs to learn to walk on their own. Practice self-advocacy and learn new skills while still in high school. This is good for the student to practice and good for the parents to learn to let go. Because if you call your child’s college professor to ask about their grades, that professor is going to either ignore your call or laugh and tell you nothing.
Trust that you have built a good foundation the last 18 years, and your kiddo is ready to stand on their own.
Fellow mom, Olivia Jarrell, has deep Ohio ties and is currently working towards her doctorate in Louisville, Kentucky. She is a regular contributor for our Sister Site, Louisville Mom Collective, has two fur babies and two little boys, and she provides college advice every day to seniors in high school and their parents. She has seen and heard it all over the years when it comes to college! We are so grateful for her expertise in sharing with the moms of Greater Dayton that have been asking these same questions for our Back to School :: College Edition.
