Do You Have an Elephant?

Seriously… I have one in my house, don’t you? I bet someone you know has one if you don’t. Some may be bigger than others, some may be hard to see, but lots of people have “an elephant in the room.”  

If you have a loved one living with a chronic disease, you are probably more likely to have one. That big thing that is always there, but not necessarily mentioned often, or at least not in public. It’s always in the room, but not always in view. 

A chronic illness is defined as a disease that lasts more than three months and that there is no cure for.

Over 45% of Americans have one according to the Partnership to Fight Chronic Disease. According to Robin Roberts, Good Morning America co-anchor and author of Everybody’s Got Something, “everyone has something.” And if you were in a room with a lot of people and everyone tossed their something in… you would want yours back. Because somebody else’s something is probably worse than yours. 

We have had an elephant in our house for over 10 years. So, while I don’t have any special degrees, I feel like I am fairly well-trained in dealing with elephants (or chronic illness) in the room. My top 10 lessons learned in no specific order…

1. One day at a time. Everyone that knows me, knows this is my mantra. Today is all you have. This minute… be grateful and enjoy it, whether it’s a glorious sunny, summer day or a cold, gray winter day. It’s the day you have been given. Make the most of it.
2. Laugh (a lot). Finding the joy in every situation really helps make a bad situation better. A friend recently asked me, “Do you have to be so darn cheerful about everything?” Yes… I think I do. Because I choose to find a reason to be. The alternative would be rather dreary I think.
3. Cry if you need. But then be done with it. We need to feel all our feelings and sometimes those tears need to come out. But, don’t let the tears steal the joy that is in every day.
4. Be careful what you wish for. This journey will end someday, but when it does, will someone be missing in your life? Again, appreciate every minute. It’s all a part of your life story. 
5. Be thankful. For the good, the bad, all of it. When I take the time to reflect, I realize a lot of good has come from the bad. It’s really true what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
6. Do something good because of the bad stuff. Make a difference… for me that is how I became part of a dog therapy team. 
7. Pray. God is always listening.
8. When people offer to help, let them. If they don’t offer and you need something, ask. This one’s important. When people are dealing with an illness that goes on for many years, sometimes people forget. 
9. Exercise for your body and your mind. Find something you love and do it.
10. Celebrate the good… the birthdays, the anniversaries, the feeling good days. Find reasons to celebrate and do it. 

Treasure each day and maybe let others see your “elephant.” They might have one, too.