Parenting With Depression

The true burden of parenting with depression can be difficult to explain to others. One day you’re accomplishing tons of things and feeling great; you can climb yourself out of the proverbial hole and live. Then the very next you are seemingly stuck on your couch and unable to shake the feelings of dread. On these days, the only thing that makes you feel any comfort is cozying up with the pain. Some may say that it is wallowing, or that it is weakness. It doesn’t feel that way when you’re experiencing it yourself. It feels like the only thing possible.

As parents, we don’t normally have the option to lie in bed all day long. Maybe if we turn on a television show we can escape to our beds for a bit. Mostly, the sadness must be buried, and we must forge ahead. When that happens, the depression seems to manifest as anger instead. If we can’t rest, our minds get full of rage. It is not easy to hide all of this from our children. Sometimes we lose it. Then the guilt comes and makes each attempt at “normalcy” even more difficult. 

It can help to stay busy, but not too busy. When our schedules are packed with things we absolutely must do, like work and school, then there is no time for being sad. This can help us avoid our problems and emotions for a while. Until we get too tired and overworked. 

Having depression means that all the things you should be doing to be healthy are that much harder. Getting adequate rest, exercising, visiting a doctor to get a prescription, counseling, etc. They take energy that simply is not there. Usually, they take an ample amount of money that isn’t available, either. 

It’s a vicious cycle we are dealing with. It is indescribably difficult. We are pulled in a million different directions and our minds are stuck in the same spot. Add on that fact that so many parents suffering with depression also experience anxiety, and we are really struggling. There are many, many of us silently pushing ourselves through a deep amount of pain.

Of course, other people judge us for not completing the simplest of tasks and in general having sad moods, though we judge ourselves even more. Most of us are high functioning and hide our issues relatively well. We hustle and bustle like the other parents. To the outside world, we are managing. We might even look like we’ve got everything figured out. Inside, we’re a mess. You don’t see the full sinks and overflowing laundry unless you’re invited in. 

If you’re invited in, love us the way we are. Love us even though our houses are a mess. Even though we are so dang tired. Commiserate with us when you can and show us compassion when you can’t. 

It helps to know there are so many of us trying to live with this. It helps even more when we are honest with each other and discuss it. If we could lean on each other a bit more and extend more kindness, we’d all be better off.