My husband and I were happily surprised to find out we were expecting twins in the spring of 2012. The pregnancy resulted in several scares and complications, but the end resulted in the birth of our two amazing girls. Now at seven years old, they are relatively healthy and normal in every way — we couldn’t be more blessed.
I feel like at least once a week when I am out with my girls, we get asked questions that always pull on my heartstrings. I oblige in answering, but I also feel uneasy sharing personal details with a stranger.
These are the top three things I wish others would stop asking or telling me:
- “Do twins run in your family?”
This is probably a little more personal for me than for most. My father was adopted, so I don’t know half of my family history. Do twins run in my family?… I don’t know. But rather than sharing the fact that I don’t know, I feel obligated to be straight forward saying why I don’t know. It’s usually more than what people are expecting to hear, but if you feel the need to ask, I’m going to share the answer I feel I need to give.
- “Did you know you were having twins?”
Again, another super personal question. Does anyone know that they’re having a child in general? Sure, some couples do their best to plan a pregnancy, and some are so grateful for it to happen at all. Especially with the uptick in IVF pregnancies, this one is personal for anyone to share. What if you’re having multiples, but lose one of the babies? That question would be unbearable to answer.
And for the record, no, I didn’t know, nor was I intending to have twins. They were a happy surprise that changed my life forever.
- “I always wanted twins.”
Nope. No. Nada. If above anything else, PLEASE do not make this statement.
We as mothers, no matter our number of kids, have a tough job. Some women are happy they’re able to just have one child. Me being a mother of twins doesn’t make me any more special or different than any other mom who has the same responsibilities.
Most women who have said this to me make this statement because (I feel) they want to dress their kids alike or have a built-in friend for their child. Dressing my girls alike is fun at times, but also confusing for others who can’t tell the difference between the girls. I find it fun to usually dress them similarly, but not always identical. My girls know it’s special if I dress them identically, and as they get older, I’m sure they will want to dress identical less and less.
However, having two kids at the same time means double EVERYTHING. This is good for a lot of things, but when it comes time for camps, activities, and school fees – the cost adds up quickly.
Also, while yes, most of the time it is nice that the girls have each other to play with, they’re also each other’s worst enemy. They’ve known each other as long as they’ve been alive and know what makes each other tick. It’s hard to punish one without punishing the other because very rarely do they cause mischief without the other one far behind.
Bonus: Are they identical?
This is the most innocent statement out of the group, but only irritates me when a stranger wants to argue that my girls are identical. I usually just move on when someone wants to argue about it.
Bottom line — Think twice before you ask any mom any personal questions about their kids, especially if you don’t know the mom. You never know what complications or uncertainty each birth brought with it. We all know we’re lucky to be a mother, no matter how many children we have.
 any personal questions about their kids, especially if you don’t know the mom.){kind=link}