This is the first major holiday without her. My sister’s mother-in-law was a force to be reckoned with; a wonderfully sarcastic, dog-loving, retired junior high math teacher who loved me, my husband, and our boys so much.
She was our third “bonus” grandmother who always had the best one-liners, teaching stories and treats for my kids. She never forgot a birthday and was known for picking out the perfect card to suit each of the four grandkids in the family.
But she’s gone, leaving behind an empty seat at the table and an even bigger hole in our hearts.
Pancreatic cancer stole her much too early. Now as we enter this holiday season, I find myself struggling to reconcile how things will have changed for everyone, for my sister and brother-in-law who lost their mom, their anchor. My niece and nephew who lost their beloved Nana, and her best friend, her husband, Bill, whom she was married to for over 50 years.
So how do you honor the memory of those that you love who have left? How do you move on with grace and celebrate without their laughter and presence? I’ve spent a bit of time lately looking for the answers to this and praying to make the right choices to help my family members who I know are going to struggle this holiday season.
I’ve also learned I’m certainly not the only one who is experiencing this, and somehow, I’ve found some solace in that fact. As with many things I need answers to, I turned to friends and Google and found suggestions I never would have thought of. I’m finding some comfort in being able to know what to do or say when the feeling of loss becomes too much. All things that are heartwarming, practical, and designed to keep the memory of your loved one close to your heart during the holiday season.
- Light a seasonal candle in their memory and burn it through the season. Perhaps a favorite scent or color.
- Hang their stocking and fill it with slips of paper with memories of times you shared. Take them out and read them with loved ones.
- Make and share a special recipe that brings you joy.
- Adopt a child or family in need for the holiday, make a donation to a charity in your loved one’s name, or donate your time to a charity they supported.
- Create a memorial ornament to hang on your tree. It can be a way to bring young children together who might be grieving.
Losing a loved one is never going to be easy. It’s hard to think of the holiday season without Rea, but I hope by keeping some of her traditions and adding a new one or two, that we all can come together to cherish her memory and celebrate how I know she would have wanted us to, with a smile on our faces and a good glass of Ohio wine in our hands.
