It’s 2020, y’all. Set all the goals. Lose all the weight. Do all the things! For me, that’s personal development.
In the age of Rachel Hollis, personal development is lurking in nearly every corner of our world. From podcasts and Instagram to the New York Times’ best sellers list, motivational speakers and entrepreneurs-turned-life-coaches are everywhere, inspirationally yelling at us to smash glass ceilings and make vision boards about our dreams. With the arrival of the New Year, the push to set big goals and be our best selves is ever-present, and if you’re a mama in the trenches of motherhood, you may find yourself eye-rolling every resolution you see proclaimed on the internet.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my girl Rachel. In fact, I’m kicking off my January by attending her Rise conference with a friend and doing the work to become a better version of myself. But I’d be lying if I said that seeing everyone around me set these enormous goals for themselves didn’t have me second-guessing the validity of literally every hope I have for myself this year.
I’m surrounded by a fantastic village of women – many of them mothers – who are kicking butt and taking names on the daily.
They’re starting their own businesses, running all the marathons, volunteering, traveling the world and taking bold steps into the unknown. And here I am, telling myself that in 2020, I’ll make a better effort to lower my grocery bill. How lame am I? So while I am so proud of them, I can’t help but feel the inevitable monster of comparison creep up as I evaluate my own goals and start considering them inferior to those around me. That’s stupid and crazy and so, so dumb, right? I know, I know.
But that’s the thing about personal development – it’s personal. Despite being in similar places in motherhood with my girlfriends, our timelines certainly don’t look the same – and they shouldn’t. My intentions for this year are important to me, and that means I have to consciously work on cheering on my friends while also not comparing myself to them. And sure, this sounds like a simple practice, but when I scroll through social media and I see people around me seemingly conquering all the things and I can’t even fold the three baskets of clean laundry at my feet, keeping my eyes on my own paper feels impossible. (Side note: Folding laundry is the absolute worst!)
My goals are small this year. I’d like to establish my professional identity, find ways to be more present with my kids (this is code for less screen time on my end, truthfully), lose a little baby weight and run a half marathon. And with an 8-month-old and a 3-year-old, I’m also in the thick of parenthood and trying to be realistic about the time and energy I can carve out for myself while still being present for all the other things for which I’m needed. It’s a balancing act, and one I’m still delicately trying to figure out, so taking baby steps towards being a better version of myself is all I feel confident tackling in 2020.
And that’s okay. Your intentions are yours. Your development is personal. Your hopes and dreams are valid and important, even if you don’t think they’re as newsworthy as someone else’s. The one common thread amongst all of us is that we show up this year. Keep showing up for yourself. For your family and friends. Keep doing the work that you think is meaningful. Surround yourself with a village of people who support those dreams, however big or small they may be, who don’t dim your light in order to brighten their own.
2020, we’re coming for you. What are some of the resolutions and goals you’ve set for yourself this year?
