When I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl almost twelve years ago, I felt sort of relieved. I figured navigating through all of her milestones, big or small, would be a breeze because I am a woman who was once a little girl. I would just pull from my own experiences.
But let me tell you this, what you think you know will never truly prepare you for what our children are going through today. For the lack of sounding old, it really was a different time. Have we gone through similar situations? Yes. But our kiddos are unique and complicated creatures that do not come with instructions.
I’m sure you have figured this one out by now.
But for almost twelve years, I did my best to handle booboos and scrapes. Minor broken hearts and the loss of friendships. Nervous feelings about first days and making new friends. We have sailed through seemingly calm waters, and I was starting to feel like a mom ninja. I could just sense when something was wrong and fix the problem. I was on top of the world…
Then we received the notice from my daughter’s school about a seminar they would be holding for the fourth-grade boys and girls, separately, to talk about their bodies and the changes happening to them. I could feel the lump in my throat forming and the knot in my stomach turning. It was time? We had reached this monumental moment in her life already?
I needed to be her sounding board and I was not ready.
She came home with questions but not as many as I had prepared myself for. NO, it was a show on the Disney channel that would spark the conversation I was so dreading. Not because the topic made me uneasy but because I wanted to inform, not overwhelm. I wanted to prepare her, not lead her to feel uncomfortable about her body and all of the changes that are inevitable.
So if you are like me and trying to figure out the best way to talk about menstruation with your preteen, here are a few tips for you…
- Take a deep breathe and relax. We tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves when all we really need to do is be open and honest. I played into my daughter’s scientific side and gave her the straight facts before we tackled the emotional side of it all. I explained how amazing our bodies are and the way they prepare themselves for almost anything. I gave her the reasons why and how. Google was my friend for this.
- I listened to her concerns, her thoughts and feelings, and reassured her that this was nothing to be afraid of. Instead, we should be proud of the changes to come. This is where the more emotional side of the topic came in. I explained that it was a special moment in a young girl’s life because it signified that she was now a young lady. The many stages of our lives are all very special, and I made it clear that this was nothing to be ashamed of. It was natural and we should feel empowered!
- I let her know that almost all women experience a period to which she exclaimed that it was like a club. Yes, a club where once a month we are allowed to be a bit moody, eat all the snacks and take care of ourselves. I gave her a brief lesson in self-care and why it is perfectly fine and important to take time for ourselves.
- Lastly, I made sure to keep things positive. I did not express my personal annoyances with Aunt Flo. I did not chime in with how much I hate dealing with it every single month. Instead, I kept things light and simple. I kept things real but I focused more on what it meant in a “coming of age” kind of way.
To my surprise, she was excited. It became a very deep bonding moment for the two of us, and I realized I had been freaking out over nothing. She knows now what to expect and because I laid the foundation for communication, she knows we can talk about anything. Hopefully, I can handle the next milestone, whatever that may be, with as much ease.
What advice would you give?
