When the Holidays Are Hard

December brings a certain magical chill to the air, then almost as if it’s overnight, there are twinkle lights everywhere, the aisles are flooded with all things merry, and carols play from every speaker that ever existed. It’s ‘the most wonderful time of year’ after all… or so they say.

We hear so much about this being the happiest season, the one that brings comfort and peace, where days should be holly jolly, and even ordinary things somehow sparkle. Now, I am not here to be a grinch and you won’t find me saying ‘bah humbug’ any time soon, but I do want to say that sometimes the holidays are hard! Whether it is the busy calendar full of obligations that you don’t really even want to fulfill, the pressure to get the perfect gifts for your family or you find yourself missing a loved one, this time of year can be stressful.

I take that back, this time of year IS stressful!

I remember as a little kid just watching as everything around me seemed to sparkle a little more this month. There were presents under the tree, food on the table, and happy faces all around. It wasn’t until my teens and into adulthood where I learned that this time of year isn’t all I originally thought it was. I have experienced first hand the hustle and bustle of trying to prepare the perfect holiday dinner, I have fallen victim to the black hole that is keeping up with others’ Christmas decor, I’ve attended get-togethers that have been less than comfortable, and my heart has ached for lost loved ones every single day of that 25 day countdown.

If years past have taught me anything, it is that, while this time of year may not always be joy-filled every day, there can be so much beauty when we choose to calm the storm that is this holiday season. Slow our autopilot down, focus on being present rather than the presents, and give ourselves permission to just be.

Be ok with saying no to office parties, multiple family gatherings, traveling, making a huge dinner, or putting on a happy face. Sometimes the holidays are hard, and we have to give ourselves full permission to process them however we see fit.

Just know that if you are in a difficult season, or if this time of year brings up grief triggers for you; you are not alone. I have been there.

I am there.

It’s hard, but you will make it through. Focus on the good, give yourself space to embrace the bad, and just know that it’s ok to take the pressure off yourself, even during the ‘most wonderful time of the year.’