New Year – New You?

Ah, New Year’s resolutions. I used to be a resolutions girl. I loved the feeling of setting concrete goals, of starting fresh, of making THIS be THE year. 

Can anyone relate?

Since getting pregnant in 2015, I feel like time is whipping by faster than Lightning McQueen (as my kid would say, because I blinked and he’s old enough to say things!) and the idea of setting lofty goals for myself seems overwhelming and honestly – not practical.  My toddler changes every month, thus throwing every plan, schedule, and initiative into a tailspin. At this time in motherhood, his needs take precedence over mine, which means I have never been more appreciative of coffee, leggings, dry shampoo, and working from home in my unshowered, pajama-d glory.  Tell me someone can relate to THIS?

Yet, as we round the corner in December, my trusty, rusty annual resolutions come flying back to mind. I’d like to lose weight, save money, have a cleaner house. The same resolutions I’ve had for years (and, if I may brag, been successful at more often than not!). But this year, they feel empty.  

Maybe they feel empty because I can’t set a solid schedule that I can work towards without feeling like a failure when kiddo has a sleep regression and we barely survive on take-out and paper plates?  Maybe they feel empty because the important things in my life are different? Maybe they feel empty because somehow, over the last three years, a New Me has slowly emerged when I wasn’t looking. 

Don’t get me wrong, I can still use a ton of improvement. But I don’t want to schedule hours of gym time or calorie counting or figuring out my intermittent fasting schedule just to fit into a smaller size. I feel stronger and healthier than I have in years, and it’s enough. I don’t want to say no to small expenses all year because I’m saving for something big – I have the big things I need right now, and at this moment we are financially responsible and content, and it’s enough. I don’t want to obsess over whether my house is perfect for an insta-worthy picture. I like our house and we do our best to pick up in such a way that I feel like our son is safe and can happily play, and it’s enough.

New Year. New Me. And I am embracing it. Part of me would love to say that I have grown enough and am throwing resolutions to the wind, but that would be a big fat lie.

So, what’s a resolution-loving, goal-driven gal to do in the face of this new parent life?  

First, I’m taking time to truly think about what is important and practical for New Me.  Maybe it’s having focused, no-cell-phone time with my kid? Maybe it’s making an effort to actually connect with friends instead of passively scrolling on social media?  Maybe it’s working harder to find service opportunities and connection locally?  I have a few ideas.

Second, I am going to pick just one thing, that I can turn into a SMART goal.  SMART is something we use for goal setting in the corporate world. It stands for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound. In short, instead of saying “I want to save money,”  say, “I want to put aside at least five dollars every week instead of getting a double pump non-fat soy latte and by the end of the year I’ll have at least $260 saved.” Finally, once I pick it and create the goal, I’ll assess it periodically to make sure it still makes sense for our life – my goals can change, evolve, or flex as our family needs, and that’s okay.

Resolutions may look different now, but I still like the exercise of taking a look at myself and my life and deciding to intentionally work on being a better version of myself.  I want my kid to see that his mom is flawed, but tries her best. That she cares about improving herself but doesn’t put herself down. That she loves her family and that includes herself.

My resolutions, whatever they end up being, have to reflect that. And I have to know that no matter what goals I reach or don’t reach, that I am enough.