In Defense of Military Housing

The first time my husband told me that we would be moving to Dayton in 2010, I remember checking all of the online listings for available homes in our price range. It’s one of the hardest part of a military move – figuring our what part of town you want to live in before you’ve ever visited the city you’re moving to! The search for rentals returned bleak results. We would only be staying for 18 months, so buying a home didn’t make sense, and anything I could find with a fenced yard for our active dog wasn’t feasible on our soon-to-be single income budget. So, as much as everyone advised us to avoid base housing at all costs, we signed away our housing allowance and were assigned a small central unit townhome in base housing. Imagine that scene from “The Little Mermaid” where Ariel signs away her voice to Ursula. It felt a bit like that. 

To say it was unimpressive as we rolled into town would be an understatement. Overcrowded driveways and toys all over the front and backyards of almost every neighbor. Paper thin walls painted an attractive (and practical) “Builder Flat White” that showed off every scuff. Small bedrooms, and even smaller kitchens with outdated appliances that only sort of worked. Ants, ants everywhere. Constant complaints ABOUT housing maintenance, plus constant phone calls TO housing maintenance.

How could there be anything redeeming about this neighborhood? As I packed half of our kitchen supplies into storage boxes to be kept in the tiny garage for the time we lived there, I swore we would never live in military housing again. The dog would be relegated to three walks a day with no yard if it meant that I could have more than 4 total cabinets in my entire kitchen!

But as with so many uncomfortable things in life, gradually something about military housing grew on me. We were never alone in the inconveniences we faced. Yes, we were packed in like sardines – always knowing when our next door neighbor was in the bathroom or opening one of those 4 kitchen cabinets and I’m certain my crazy dog thrilled them to no end – but in our forced closeness, new friendships blossomed quickly over our shared experiences. We were fortunate to have considerate neighbors, and we learned to be more considerate in return. 

I discovered that I could safely run alone at night without thinking twice – running at 11 pm became a new norm for me – and I thrived on long runs in the dark but protected streets. Sadly, women don’t always have that security, and it was a true gift that developed my love for running. I watched as neighbors who didn’t really know each other at all immediately agreed to be each other’s emergency contact on school forms without even batting an eye. Actually, not only did they agree to it with the idea of  “I’m sure this would never happen”, but would truly go pick up that child when something would arise and keep them safely at their own house until mom or dad could be reached. And finally, when dark days would come, when deployments loomed and word about attacks on military bases overseas hit too close to home, when spouses waited for that all clear phone call from their service member – we were never alone or misunderstood. We knew as we stood in those crummy homes with dirty white walls patched who knows how many times that someone had stood there before us – taking the same deep breaths, reassuring themselves that everything was fine and that we could walk across the street to an open and understanding listener. 

Over the 18 months we lived in that townhome, perks that I had never considered popped up. They were things that I couldn’t buy, couldn’t possibly have paid fair market value for in a desirable neighborhood.  I can’t put a price tag on having someone else say, “I know what you are going through, how can I help you?” and mean it.  Because sometimes, just knowing that you are completely surrounded by people who get what you are going through is enough to get through a rough day.

My nonmilitary neighbors in the off-base military neighborhood we live in now are nothing short of wonderful, and buying a home here was absolutely the right choice for us when we moved back in 2015. Still, there will always be a soft spot for base housing in my heart, and when the paperwork comes in for our next military move in a few years, base housing will go on my list of available options. It might not always (ever!) be the most exciting option, but sometimes, if you give it a chance, it can surprise you as the best option for your family.