“You’ll just know.” That’s what they say. And I don’t mean that proverbial, mysterious, unnamed, “they.” I literally mean just about every woman that’s ever had a baby and has contemplated having more (or not). I know because I’ve asked. And asked. And asked.
But what if we don’t know! Because I don’t know. And does that mean that since I don’t know, I’m destined for more than my two little wild ones? Or does it mean I’m stuck in unknowing baby limbo for the next 10-15 years. (Um, yikes, no thank you!)
The way I see it, I’m totally content with my dynamic toddler duo. I don’t feel like our family is missing something or someone. Financially, adding another sounds super stressful and the idea of being outnumbered is a little bit terrifying.
Yesterday, on vacation at the beach, my husband had to run back to the condo to grab his phone because he was expecting a call. I had my eyes on the kids so it was no big deal. But what if there were 3, 4, or 8 kids there with me?! What then? Sure, as kids get older they can help more. I have three sisters so I get that bigger families can definitely work. As a kid, I remember thinking I wanted nine kids (like my wonderful Aunt-slash-godmother) but after having kids of my own I’m just so unsure. (And nine is definitely not in our plans anymore, haha.) I love my little family. It’s perfect. Everything just seems right. And I know it sounds like maybe I “know.” But then there’s the flip side.
I never relished any lasts because I never assumed that’s what they would be. I didn’t know that last year I may have been experiencing my last pregnancy. I had no clue that I may decide that I wasn’t going to go through labor and delivery again. Last late night newborn snuggles. Last set of tiny feet. Last first steps, first words, first smiles…
Being just shy of 27, I know I have plenty of time to decide. I’ve got tons of fertile years left and since we definitely don’t want to do any sort of permanent birth control, I should just be content with a “not right now.” But let’s be honest, who wants to start the baby phase all over again when their oldest is turning ten? (Ok, maybe some people, but not this girl.) If I’m going through the newborn, no sleep, constant diapers, teething, baby phases, I’m doing it soon. I know once everyone is sleeping through the night, wearing undies, and not using me as a human milk machine, I know I won’t want to go back to that.
Ps- my husband is not really helpful. He thinks our family of four is great, would totally have more if we wanted to, and thinks it’s not unlikely for us to have a surprise baby at some point.
I’m not alone in this. I know, because remember, I asked. But people either say that you know, or that they don’t know!
So how do you know, when you don’t think you know, you know?
I definitely fall into that “you’ll just know” camp. My husband and I pretty quickly agreed 2 would be our magic number and we’re sticking to I! For us, the main reasons are age [I don’t have quite as many fertile years left!] and the fact that both of my pregnancies have been ROUGH!
If you don’t know 100%, then it sounds like your heart is certainly open to the idea of adding more to your little tribe. Like you said, you have plenty of time to decide! I firmly believe we get exactly who and want we need, and if your family is meant to have one more sweet babe, [or two.. maybe not nine!] then it will happen!
I had my first bio daughter at 35 (and my oldest stepdaughter was 9 at the time!). Sometimes I mourn a little because I’d like more of those infant snuggles, first moments, etc. But I kind of always knew I was done due to age and the dynamics of our family. My husband would have just gone with the flow if I wanted another one though!
I know that I don’t want any kids BUT PEOPLE WONT LISTEN TO ME
Haha, this is so accurate! I knew we were done, but when we had this surprise pregnancy I realized how much I hadn’t been ready for another quite so soon! But now that I’ve almost finished this pregnancy, we are pretty sure that we want at least one more and our logic is the same as yours…we might as well do it soon! You are right…it’s so hard to know!!!
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