My Four Favorite Things About Turning 40

By
Pamela Chandler
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I turned 40 last year. And that feels absolutely impossible. Forty seems like such a real number. Such an adult number. I hardly feel like an adult. I’m pretty sure I just graduated from the kids’ table at Thanksgiving a few years ago. How is it possible I’ve been alive for four decades? It seems insane.

I remember perfectly when my Mom turned 40. I was 16 and somewhat angsty at the time. She seemed so incredibly old. Oh Mom, forgive my silly teenage notions. We decorated the house that day with tons of black streamers and “Over the Hill” black balloons. We made her a cake that said “Old As Dirt.” We laughed hysterically when she came home from work to her “You Are Old” party. How obnoxious could we get?!

Also, how in the world could I possibly be that age now!?

40

For one thing, my child is only 5 years old; I got married and started my life much later than my mom did so I already feel like I’m not her age yet. Will I ever be that old? Or do you always feel younger than you are? Wrapping my head around being 40 hasn’t been an easy journey at all, but I’ve decided to embrace the things I’ve learned along the way. There is no point in dwelling on the negatives of aging, because the alternative is NOT getting another birthday, and I feel truly blessed that they keep coming.

After four decades, I have picked up some wisdom that I just could not have fathomed in my 20s. So here are my four favorite things about being 40.

Confidence

I have so much more confidence now. Mainly it’s a feeling that I know what I want and I’m not concerned about what other people think. So much time was wasted in my teens and 20s and even early 30s worrying about what people thought. Man, I wish I could steal those lost and wasted moments back! I’ve learned most people aren’t even thinking about you; they are too wrapped up in their own lives and those that are, well WHO CARES. But “knowing” that at 40 is much different than feeling that at 20, and it’s a lesson only time can teach. I’m thankful for the confidence that 40 has brought me.

Contentment

In my teens, I wanted the designer jeans; in my 20s, I wanted the Louis bag; in my 30s, I wanted the big ring and the hot guy holding my hand. Some of these things I got, (hey hot husband) but some were just cheap knock-offs (what up Chinatown bag), but as I settle into year 40, it’s much easier to let go of those things. It’s so much easier to not care about that bag or those shoes and focus on the things that really matter to me. I would much rather just be happy and have my whole family healthy. Simple things become more important and you realize that material things only take you so far. I’m finding contentment in what I have and learning to love the simple things in my life at 40.

Stability

Mental, financial and emotional stability. I’ve been through some things, I’ve learned to deal, I’ve learned to budget, I’ve learned to prioritize my mental health, and I’ve learned it’s ok to not always be ok. I take breaks. I reach out to friends. I breathe. I can be stable even when falling apart and I can provide the stability my family unit needs even when it seems overwhelming. My 40 years have taught me I have enough strength in me and around me to weather those storms and come out the other side.

Grace

I admit it, I was SO JUDGMENTAL in my younger years! It’s easy to be perfect at life when you’ve barely lived it! Once you hit 40, you realize most of us are doing the best we can. Being a wife, I give so much more grace to married folks (relationships are hard).Being a Mom, I give SO MUCH more GRACE to parents (it’s the hardest job there is). Being a woman who has actually lived a good amount of life, I now give so much more grace to women. Being a human in these times isn’t easy, and if these 40 years have taught me anything, it’s that we could all stand to give each other a little more GRACE.

As I reflect on this past year, I’m realizing 40 years around the sun have taught me so many things. I can’t wait to see what 50 has in store.

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