Once October first appears on the calendar, most people jump to thinking about the end of the month, the 31st, Halloween. But, there is another important date on the calendar: Oct. 15.
It’s Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
It’s a day you don’t know about until you unfortunately have to know. It’s belonging to a club that no one actually wants to be invited to join. It’s a day I wish wasn’t on my calendar, but I find it important to remember all of the babies gone too soon: my babies and all of the other babies that left this world before they even had a chance.
Every year at 7 p.m. on that day, I light a candle to remember the two babies I never got to meet before my daughter was born. It’s called the Wave of Light and the idea is that a continuous wave of light will spread across the world as each clock chimes 7 p.m. through the different time zones.
It’s my small way of acknowledging that I still remember the two who made me a mother first.
The two I still think about when it’s time for back-to-school pictures or time to plan birthday parties or even just when watching my daughter play, knowing her two older sisters should be adding to the lovely chaos. I think about them and how I don’t get milestones or memories with them.
Even if you are fortunate enough to not have a personal reason to light a candle on the 15th, I ask you to light a candle anyway. You probably know someone lighting their own candle even if you don’t realize you do. Light it for your neighbor, your friend who hasn’t told you, the woman at the supermarket who can’t walk past the diaper aisle without crying. Do it for all of the babies gone too soon.