Not too long ago, a girlfriend and I were affectionately reflecting on the time in our lives before we had kids. Back before sticky hands and piles and piles of laundry. Before lunch packing and dirty diapers and pediatrician appointments. You know the years – if you close your eyes and let your mind wander, you can fondly remember the simplicity of not having other humans to care for. A time when you were responsible for you and only you. Well, and maybe a couple dogs.
Don’t get me wrong – I love my kids fiercely, but as I collapse on the couch at the end of another long day, I can’t help but laugh at the pre-kids me for ever thinking life was challenging or difficult prior to having these little balls of energy running around. That’s not to trivialize what anyone goes through – with or without kids. But man, does motherhood change your threshold for “hard.”
So, without further ado, in no particular order, here’s a list of things I thought were “hard” until I had kids.
Planning anything. Planning a big event like a wedding or birthday bash can definitely be stressful, but let’s imagine trying to do it while juggling and also riding a unicycle and also being on fire, and then we’re closer to the equivalent of planning literally anything with small children.
Losing weight. Ya’ll. I lost 70 pounds in the three years prior to having kids just by running a lot and eating healthy like half of the time. And yes, it was so hard, but trying to lose weight after having kids requires so much meticulous tracking and strategic exercise that I can’t even glance at a plate of boneless wings without gaining weight.
Dating your spouse. Someone should have told me that once I had kids, I’d have to return as my 16-year-old self and ask my parents for permission to go out because I now need them to babysit my kids. Or, no one is eating this week so we can afford to pay for a babysitter. I will also need to drink three extra cups of coffee in order to not fall asleep at our romantic dinner where we will spend the entire time talking about our kids.
Home projects. With no other tiny humans to care for and keep away from sharp nails, wet paint and power tools, home projects pre-kids now sounds like the Caribbean vacation of my dreams.
Cleaning up. What once was, what most would consider, a reasonable amount of messy is now the backdrop for the newest Hoarders episode. And I am powerless against it.
Dogs. I used to say that dogs were great prep work for kids – and yes, it’s helpful to learn how to be responsible for someone else. But dogs sit happily in crates, travel well, can be left alone for hours and, spoiler alert, don’t throw a level five tantrum in Target when they don’t get their favorite chew toy.
Running all the errands. Grocery, Target, Home Depot, you name it. A whole entire day of errand running pre-kids meant that I had adulted so hard and obviously deserved ice cream or a great dinner (sans kids, of course) as a reward. Now, errand running looks a lot like Amazon Prime or carrying my children and all their belongings across the frozen tundra that is the Target parking lot.
I wouldn’t trade my life with my kids for anything in this entire world, but it’s fun to look back on how much simpler life was before I became a mother and laugh at how clueless I was. Tell me, mamas, what did you think was “hard” before having kids that you laugh at yourself for now?
