I begrudgingly stalked back up the stairs to his bedroom at 8:10 a.m. with my lukewarm coffee in-hand, and my fuzzy pink robe draped on me like a turtle’s shell. Truth be told, I wanted to crawl back into it and hide from my motherly responsibilities.
I got to the top of the stairs and smiled at my sleepy-eyed boy, and said, “Come on sweet boy… let’s find your clothes…” He stopped me. He said, “No thanks mom, I can do it!” Nothing short of an ice bath could have shocked me more. “Ouch! When did that happen?” I whispered.
I have four children, two sets with a significant gap between. I am (admittedly) a different parent with the two younger children than I was with the first two. I am more patient. I am softer. I am an observer and less of a manager. I have learned to let them be silly. I sing lullabies a little longer, hug their tiny bodies with my eyes closed, soaking in the moment. For I know tomorrow they will be just a bit bigger.
It creeps in slowly, their independence. Sneaky. In the moments that are frantic, quick and scattered, like racing to the car or just as bedtime sets in and you are ready to call it a day, that’s when their independence drips out of them. In small whispers that almost escape you, that is when they are growing. Zipping up their coats for the first time, opening a juice box independently, or picking out an outfit… their dependence on us is just slipping a little bit more from our reach.
Before you race off t0 grab your kids in a tearful embrace, stick with me for just a sec. They ARE growing. Their independence is evidence of our success as parents. Remember, that we WANT them to be successful, independent adults. Each and every second their minds are forming new synapses and memories and talents and skills. But behind each and every experience, will be you.
Parenting is the most bittersweet of roles. We pour ourselves into the 2 a.m. feedings, the diaper changes, the school plays, the soccer goals. We cheer, we cry, we rock, we sing, we hug, we kiss, we listen, we love, and then… they leave. Every day we are one step closer. So breathe mama. Take it in – the chaos, noise, laughter and love. Read the bedtime stories, tuck in the toddlers, listen to the pre-teen gossip, hug them hard as long as they will let you. We are all on borrowed time.
