The idea of working from home was so appealing to me before I had kids.
I could wake up whenever I wanted and work in my pjs. I could work whenever I wanted and stroll to the nearby park for a picnic lunch with my children. I could be both a working mom and a stay-at-home mom. I could have it all.
But the reality is my kids wake up before the crack of dawn, often earlier than kids with parents who work outside of the home. I do sometimes work in my pjs but that’s usually because I’m desperately trying to finish up a session after the kids have gone to bed and before I pass out from exhaustion myself. We do sometimes take a stroll to the park but it’s more a distracting tactic so I can answer emails in peace and try to wear them out for an early bedtime.
Every day I find myself having to decide if leaving the sink full of dishes and laundry unwashed is going to win out to answering emails and working on client projects. The house chores get put off more often than I would like but paying the bills is more important. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve had someone screaming, “Mommy, I need help wiping!” in the background of a phone call where I’m supposed to sound like I have it together.
In my busy season, more tv is watched than I would like but it’s a sure way to keep the kids from noticing me on my computer. The, “Mommy, stop working,” will never get easier to hear. The guilt of working in front of my sweet boys will never fade but I hope that they see that I am a strong entrepreneur mother pursuing her dreams and passions.
Most of my working hours are before the kids are up, during the rare nap time, or after they go to bed when I am completely wiped from the day and just want to spend time with my husband. I have one day a week that the kids are babysat so I can get work done with no interruptions. Another thing I never understood until it happened. Why does the mom at home with her kids need a babysitter? I can barely keep from drowning in housework when the kids are there, let alone do any actual work.
Now don’t get me wrong, I so love being a work-from-home mom.
I know I’m lucky to be able to work from home. I absolutely love being able to have a flexible schedule and be home with my kids. Being your own boss is kind of awesome. And I also love having something that I am passionate about that I get to call my career. I just wish it didn’t make me feel so guilty.
So the next time you’re on a call and hear the squeals of crazy kids on the other end of the line, give her a little grace. Remember that there is a mom just trying to keep her kids alive, keep her job, and keep it all together on the other side.
