We have all heard the saying a million and one times: “it takes a village.” We know that it’s true because we live it every day as parents, whether we have a large amount of help or only a little. Parenting is difficult and often lonely. A support system can make all the difference.
Unfortunately, not all parents live in communities that are willing to take on the role of the village. Gone are the days of sending your kids out into the neighborhood and not seeing them again until dark. Close friends are not always ready and available to help navigate the treacherous waters of raising children. So how are we supposed to create support for ourselves?
On more than one occasion, I have found myself extremely envious of those with a large group of mom friends. Having my first daughter at the age of 19, there weren’t many mom friend options available to me. The other people my age were busy with school, dating, and parties. They couldn’t relate to my breastfeeding struggles or my desire to be with my child almost 24/7. I felt a bit isolated at times and that I was truly missing out on something special by not having a group of other parents to lean on.
What I realize now is that while my personal village does not contain all of my friends and neighbors, it does contain my extended family. Parents, grandparents, siblings, nieces, and a nephew. How lucky I am to have so many members of my family close by and willing to help in a myriad of ways. I would be lost without them. I count my blessings knowing my children will grow up this near to family members that love them dearly. It is an incredible gift for all involved.
Some of you are probably thinking, “Yeah, must be nice.” It is not lost on me that so many parents do not have extended family nearby. Or perhaps they have no relationship with extended family members. But we all need to define our own village.
Your village might include your co-workers or the employees at your children’s daycare center. Maybe your circle of support comes from an online group of other parents. These people are there for you to lean on. We do need the village and it is there if we open our eyes to it. It might not look the same as we imagined it would and that is okay.
I can so relate! I know that we would be in shambles without the help from both of our families – particularly recently during my difficult pregnancy. I’m so thankful we decided to stay in the Dayton area and be closeby both of our parents. The child-grandparent bond is the absolute best.
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