One second she’s a sweet angel, blowing kisses and giving hugs, the next she’s mad and smacking at my face, hitting the floor (or any object around her) or her taking swipes at her sisters.
Yeah, I know, she’s only a toddler. My last baby. She’s 1 1/2. Just turned 19 months. But still… it’s embarrassing!
When my daughter hits, I know it’s her emotions being too big for her to understand, so it’s coming out physically, but it makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong somewhere during these first 19 months of her life. My mind starts scanning the past, trying to remember where or how she may have picked this behavior up.
“Have I allowed her big sisters to get away with this and she’s been led by example?” “Did I playfully pretend to hit someone as a joke and she saw me and thought it was okay?” “Maybe she picked it up from some jerk kid at daycare?”
It could be all or some or none of the above. I’m honestly not sure. And then there’s the scolding/teaching part that comes along with it after she hits. I am so inconsistent because I’m really not sure how to tackle the issue.
Sometimes I think, “It’s just a phase, I shouldn’t react too harshly to it,” so I just ignore it. Other times, it really gets to me, like she does it in public or at family member’s houses, so I vocally and sternly tell her “No, no hitting, that hurts!” And then sometimes, I think maybe she’ll understand better and think twice if she knows what it feels like, so I’ll do it back (gently, of course), or firmly squeeze her little hand to let her know she’s in trouble.
What I’ve noticed is a pattern in all of this is: honestly, no matter how I react to her hitting, she continues to do it when she’s grumpy or angry or overtired. So what’s the right thing to do?
I don’t remember my other girls doing this. They had their own hurdles to overcome and teachable moments through toddlerhood, so it’s kind of new to me.
Please moms, give me your advice! I know she’s little and toddlers have BIG feelings and LOTS of attitude. They’re discovering how to manage life and growing into who they are, but I’d love to nix this hitting business if I can. I’m so not a fan.
