Remembering Our Daughter Is Another Meaningful Part of October

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October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. A friend introduced me to the cause and my curiosity led me to the internet to learn more, where I discover a ribbon. There are many variations of the loss awareness symbol. That little ribbon with a slip of pink and blue holds new meaning for me.

I never knew about this special part of October, or its associated ribbon, until after my miscarriage in 2020. 

October

It may seem strange, but I often smile quietly when I see it. For me, this ribbon means that babies are remembered, loved and cherished. That little ribbon reminds me that I am not alone. It also makes me think of my Olivia, and these days, I am able to think of my angel baby without as many heartbreaking tears.

October is a very busy month for my family – full of birthdays, a wedding anniversary, fall sports, trick or treating, and more. For me, fall mornings promise crisp air and a sense of leisure that always reminds to slow down just a little. The promise of apple cider on a brisk yet sunny day, surrounded by burnt orange and deep red leaves, is mixed with emotional longing and reflection.

October is best known for breast cancer awareness, but perhaps we can shift this awareness to remember parents who have lost a baby. There are many of us who struggle to move forward, caught in a trap of “what ifs.” While fall represents the calm before the holiday storm, perhaps it can also mean reaching out. Friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances and other people we encounter daily could need a little help to get through the day.

One in four women will experience a miscarriage and this staggering number means we all know someone who has experienced a loss. Men and women grieve differently, and each family has to create its own new path. 

I encourage anyone reading this piece to reach out to someone they haven’t talked to in a while.

It is our personal relationships and support that help us maintain our community. We are each responsible for creating our own community, and I try to fill mine with family, great friends, neighborly connections, kind interactions and appreciation for everyone in our children’s lives.

October may not carry the same meaning for you or your family as it does for mine, but I hope you will use it as encouragement for nurturing the community and people in your life.


Special thank you to our guest writer, Marie Kriedman.

 

Marie started her journalism career as a copy editor and paginator for a newspaper. She eventually left the newspaper business and has continued as a freelance writer for more than 20 years. She founded Write Away K, and is the author of many children’s books. She published two books to honor her daughter, Saying Goodbye to Olivia and Olivia Had Trisomy 18. Marie and her husband are graciously permitted to live in a house with their cats. They are also parents to two children and one angel baby. Please visit BooksbyMarie.com to learn more.

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